Inner Child Healing
“The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness and fear” –Thich Nhat Hanh
What is an inner child?
When children are emotionally injured, neglected, humiliated or even abused at various stages in their lives, the wounds become a part of their cellular memory, no matter how old they grow. As children we are all impressionable and absorb and take up all emotions unfiltered.
The healing called “The Inner Child Work” is an inner work which creates space for self-value, self-love and self-respect helping the subconscious mind to take over.
Even as grownups each one of us has an inner child who has been denied, neglected, mocked, shamed, abandoned or rejected. We are told by our society to “grow up” putting childish things aside. To become adults, we've been taught that our inner child– representing our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity and playfulness–must be hushed, quarantined or even killed. As “Grown-ups”, we are convinced that we have successfully outgrown and moved past all this, but in reality the trauma seems to lurk within which leaves the impressionable child with its emotional baggage. Our Inner child is a unique part of us that still feels young, unloved and uncherished on the inside.
“Inner child” is a part of our subconscious and it runs the show.
It is a part of our subconscious that has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on mentally and emotionally. It has been part of ourselves ever since we were conceived, and throughout our developing years as baby, infant, toddler, young child and middle school year until developing into our present tender selves.
Or inner child can often recall good experiences as well as childhood fears, traumas, neglect or significant loss they have had. It can be hard to pinpoint the exact event that is tugging at us, but we can start to notice our internal patterns that have left us a subconscious “bread crumb trails” which determines our present actions and responses. The child within remains in pain, fear, anger or rage, guilt or shame, and until the inner child is healed, its past worries and patterns will continue to reveal themselves.
Signs of a wounded Inner Child
Our inner child is always communicating with us…we just need to learn to listen.
The Inner Child Healing works to stop, listen, and communicate to the child within you.
Our inner child can either be calm and content or it can be disturbed and chaotic, standing in the way of academic performances, healthy relationships, professional life and self-discipline. Our inner child chooses behaviours, choices and thoughts based on the patterns and learnt behaviours from their subconscious beliefs, patterns, conclusions, judgements, paradigms and memories.
- Have you been feeling frustrated or stuck, constantly feeling “there’s something wrong with me“?
- Are you constantly experiencing difficulties at work, in parenting, in finding or keeping or making healthy relationships and in love or setting boundaries?
- Do you suffer from fear, perfectionism, insecurity, anxiety or are avoiding certain people, places or experiences?
- Do you suffer from unexplained insecurity, with the need to feel safe?
- Do your childhood emotional wounds burden you as though you were carrying the weight of the whole world on your shoulders?
- Are you having a fearful, less confident part afraid of trying new things which you desire?
- Have you been feeling torn and broken when your adult self wants you to move on with life but seems difficult?
Healing The Inner Child Within:
The good news is that, like all children, this child has within it the potential to be healed. Inner Child has to be identified with, listened to and treated with appreciation and loving kindness. Ultimately, this call comes from a part of us deep within that is already whole, enlightened and divine.
The major part of healing is letting go of the childhood trauma and pain which someone important to you inflicted upon you, they failed to show compassion, either by not being available when yo u needed them the most, by not giving you the love you deserved and by inflicting pain on you directly. This can affect the kid within and your outward adult self.
As adults you might not be able to get closure from others but you can, now, in this moment go past the traumas and take accountability for your own healing. The healer should also help you in dealing and working through things like a lack of closure from those in your life.
Regardless, we still deserve to heal.
Process of healing involves:
- Acknowledging the hurts and pains to be released
- Connecting to the inner child with compassion
- Listening to the child unconditionally
- Embracing it
- Taking Responsibility
- Talking as a Parent to the inner child.
“Communication with the Inner Child during the session, whether you speak it out loud, in your thoughts, while journaling, through EFTs or through other means, can be advantageous in this process. Through the sessions the healer intends to teach how to live successfully in the world with self-love, power, boundaries, confidence, and a sense of completeness of self.”
The therapy sessions may also include using guided imagery, visualisation, art therapy, writing poetry, journaling or scripting and so on.
“Lift up your eyes from your books, from your past, from your hurts and look upon all people with love, because when you look into another’s eyes and see innocence, you find it in yourself. Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”