Inner Child Healing
“The cry we hear from deep in our hearts, comes from the wounded child within. Healing this inner child’s pain is the key to transforming anger, sadness and fear” -Thich Nhat Hanh
What is an inner child?
When children are emotionally injured, neglected, humiliated or even abused at various stages in their lives, the wounds become a part of their cellular memory, no matter how old they grow. As children we are all impressionable and absorb and take up all emotions unfiltered.
The healing called “The Inner Child Work” is an inner work which creates space for self-value, self-love and self-respect helping the subconscious mind to take over.
Even as grownups each one of us has an inner child who has been denied, neglected, mocked, shamed, abandoned or rejected. We are told by our society to “grow up” putting childish things aside. To become adults, we’ve been taught that our inner child–
representing our child-like capacity for innocence, wonder, awe, joy, sensitivity and playfulness–must be hushed, quarantined or even killed. As “Grown-ups” we are convinced we have successfully outgrown and moved past all this, but in reality the trauma seems to lurk within which leaves the impressionable child with its emotional baggage. Our Inner child is a unique part of us that still feels young, unloved and uncherished on the inside.
“Inner child” is a part of our subconscious and it runs the show.
It is a part of our subconscious that has been picking up messages way before it was able to fully process what was going on mentally and emotionally. It has been part of ourselves ever since we were conceived, and throughout our developing years as
baby, infant, toddler, young child and middle school year until developing into our present tender selves.
Our inner child can often recall good experiences as well as childhood fears, traumas, neglect or significant loss they have had. It can be hard to pinpoint the exact event that is tugging at us, but we can start to notice our internal patterns that have left us a subconscious “bread crumb trails” when we start to explore our inner world.
Past Life, Karma and the Inner Child
The gratification of unfulfilled desires of our past life is that which compels our rebirth in the present. These unfulfilled needs of our Inner Child unfolds from moment to moment during the life experience which we are unaware of, and determines our present actions and responses. The child within us that remains in pain, fear, anger or rage, guilt or shame, either retreats from or lashes out at the world around them, unable to cope with their intense emotions and at all times traumatized inner child’s desire is to heal.
Karma says we are fated to repeat the cycle until we consciously break it. The “hidden subconscious forces” of the inner child or the seeds of karma stored in our subconscious will continue to grow and ripen into negative outcomes until we replace them by planting
positive seeds or liberating them through our self-awareness. We can plant seeds for positive karma, and benefit from the positive characteristics of our healed inner child. It needs guidance and loving-kindness from our adult self so it can learn to trust and feel
whole. Until the inner child is healed, our past worries and patterns will continue to reveal themselves.
Signs of a wounded Inner Child
Our inner child is always communicating with us…we just need to learn to listen.
The Inner Child Healing works to stop, listen, and communicate to this child.
Our inner child can either be calm and content or it can be disturbed and chaotic, standing in the way of academic performances, healthy relationships, professional life and self-discipline. Our inner child chooses behaviours, choices and thoughts based on the patterns and learnt behaviours from their subconscious beliefs, conclusions, judgements, paradigms and memories.
- If one is feeling frustrated or stuck in some aspect of one’s life, constantly feeling “there’s something wrong with me “it’s probable because their inner child is needing some Difficulties at work, in parenting, in finding or keeping or making healthy relationships and in love or setting boundaries.
- Fear, perfectionism, insecurity, anxiety or are avoiding certain people, places or experiences.
- Instability, uncertainty or danger that may hold you back from making changes and progress.
- Unexplained insecurity, with the need to feel safe. Often, our inner child does not have access to the adult “self” reality and may not know about how life is different now, or how things have changed.
- Childhood emotional wounds, burdened as though you were carrying the weight of the whole world on your shoulders.
- A fearful, less confident part afraid of trying new attention things.
- Feelings of being torn and broken when your adult self wants you to move on with life but seems difficult.
How do we identify our Inner Child and get unstuck?
We get stuck when one part of us seeks for safety and consistency and another part of us craves for possibility, connection and adventure. We need to find a middle ground and move past obstacles. When one has to improve the balance of life experiences, it’s
creativity, adaptability, responsibility, connectivity and stability, it is important for our adult self and child self to meet and get to know each other.
Healing is crucial in forming a combined team- one in which both our adult self needs and inner child needs are met.
Healing our inner child requires communication and also developing a sense of trust and safety with the relationship we have with our present. Next step after learning to identify with our inner child, is the need to really listen in, to learn about our inner child’s needs, pains, hopes, and dreams and also take steps to heal the pains and make dreams happen.
Healing The Inner Child Within:
The good news is that, like all children, this child has within it the potential to be healed. The request of the Inner Child is to listen, slow down and treat the inner self with appreciation and loving kindness. Ultimately, this call comes from a part of us deep within
that is already whole, enlightened and divine.
A key component of healing the kid within is to take accountability for healing as one doesn’t always get an apology from those involved in the childhood experiences or trauma.
Healing the Inner Child is a process and the healer facilitates this by recognizing the childhood needs which includes emotional needs, social needs, boundaries, the need to rest, the need to be validated, the need to be loved , the need to feel safe and secure, the
need to be heard to list a few.
Process of healing consist of:
1) Understanding the Hurt and Pain
2) Building Compassion
3) Loving Yourself
4) Playing Again
5) Taking Responsibility
6) Re-parenting Yourself
“Communication with the Inner Child during the session, whether you speak it out loud, in your thoughts, while journaling, through EFTs or through other means, can be advantageous in this process. Through the sessions the healer intends to teach how to live successfully in the world with self-love, power, boundaries, confidence, and a sense of completeness of self.”
The therapy sessions may also include using guided imagery, visualisation, art therapy, writing poetry, journaling or scripting and so on. As adults you might not be able to get closure from others but you can, now, in this moment go past the traumas and take accountability for your own healing. The healer should also help you in dealing and working through things like a lack of closure from those in your life. Regardless, we still deserve to heal.
The major part of healing is letting go of the childhood trauma and pain which someone important to you inflicted upon you, they failed to show compassion, either by not being available when you needed them the most, by not giving you the love you deserved and by inflicting pain on you directly. This can affect the kid within and your outward adult self.
“Lift up your eyes from your books, from your past, from your hurts and look upon all people with love, because when you look into another’s eyes and see innocence, you find it in yourself. Beautify your inner dialogue. Beautify your inner world with love, light and compassion. Life will be beautiful.”
